Converts Sought from the Heathen
Old Soldier
(From a posting on Szabo-land)

It is time once again to call the tired, the poor the humble, those seeking the new and righteous way to reenacting. I rise to humbly thank-yous for encouraging me to enter into the priesthood of the United Progressive Church of the Hard Core Authentics. While not expelled from the old way, I am a believer and I do not take this covenant lightly.

For too long, I wandered in the wilderness serving the false idols of hobby, period history and family. I have mistakenly sought to indulge myself in the fantasy of serving a love of history, the preservation of important sites and family camping. I have bowed before the golden calf of the large event, the large crowd and the tithing of significant entertainment generated preservation resources.

But now, through our high priests of the internet, I have been called and am sanctified. I have turned away from mistaken identity and am now prepared to leave my family, the house trailer, my tent, my cot, my cooler, my shampoo, my children, my chairs and stools, my 4-wheel drive (well, may not that yet) but, yes, I am free. Thank you, thank you for taking me.

We have overcome and shall continue to overcome. We - and brothers I am with you - have now written and published our creed, our doctrine and our theology. Let there be unanimity in it and let none deviate; lest they might be smitten and cast into the eternal flames of outer FARB darkness. As so aptly described here, there can be no middle ground - no grey in this mission to create the true church of the campaign. There is a right way and then there is the way of he who deceives the new found babes in the snares of the lustful, slovenliness of mainstreaming.

I revelle in the knowledge that has now been taught unto me. I now have the truth at my side. But there is much work to be done, my brothers, and I exhort you to be leaders - fishers of properly clad and equipped living historians. My brethren, the great and horrible Church of the Mainstream Sinners must be destroyed. We must burn it down, destroy its leaders, take its adherents, boycott its events, refuse to cooperate with its servants, and upon its ashes build up a new religion - a new force in the world to correct the unseemliness of the mainstream sinners.

We forswear the comforts of tentage, shall keep ourselves free of women in camp - have not the laundress nor cook nor family visitors - even of period, lest they defile us. We forswear, the cool drink, the cooler and eschew all but salt pork, dried meat, coffee, beans and hardtack. We forswear, camp messes, equipment and related facilities, for our doctrine does not - cannot - accept a campaign that includes the assumption of Regimental logistics support. We commit ourselves to that which we can carry on our back in line of march in good order. We revelle in the tall grass, the the misqitoes, the flys and demand the right to experience them in their historical context. We will collect our own wood and split it as required for this is the experience we seek.

Brethren, ours is a faith that demands that all events be in chronological order, in the appropriate season, in order to achieve the level of historical accuracy required by our doctrine. There is no place for "if they had had'em they would have used em." There is no place for combining the experiences of the civil war soldier's beyond that experienced at a singular event. When asked, "but was I not more than that, how can you understand my sacrifice, without understanding me, my family, my community, my world," we shall ay, NO, we seek only to teach, to relive and to reenact the horrors and hardships of war - on campaign.

We forswear modern conveniences, for ours is the religion of the hardcore. We do not accept and shall reject the placement of water buffaloes and portajohns within 1,000 yards. We reject the participation of sutlers at all events, as we know those sutlers that have been blessed and will supply ourselves through them and through the mail long before engaging in any event - this purifying ritual to make us hardy and reliant on ourselves and our pards. We forswear lanterns, chairs, stools, tentage, cots, hay, straw, banjos, guitars, alcohol, soda and ice. And whoa unto those of us found in the modern vendors areas or any vendors areas, and whoa unto those with improper button holes, brogans or leathers, packs or forage caps, for they shall not be known as the children of men, but shall be cast out - excommunicated - as not firm in the faith. May they supplicate themselves in the Church of the Mainstream Sinners for they are not worthy of us.

Nevertheless, brethern, we shall demand our rights, and the promised lands of our inheritance. Again, when asked, "is this the fullness of life that I led," we shall say, Yes - this is the truth that they must come to understand. We will demand our right to form independent battalions and for them to be recognized by the military command. We will promote our own and shall expect those ranks of authority to be recognized. We shall demand that the battle scenarios be adjusted to facilitate our particular requirements, schedules,marches, and camping requirements. We will demand that scenarios be kept authentic and that proper hit/casualty ratios be maintained. Again, whoa unto any reenactment sponsor that would seek to dismiss the vitality of the internet 10.

Bow down before us, for we hold your future in our hands. We demand that our camping sites meet with our approval and that they will not be imposed upon by views of spectator areas, those of any venders or those of the mainstreamer camps. We demand that our camps be convenient to the spectators, lest the mainsinners have ready access to mislead them as to how the civil war was fought and the Victorian period of our forefathers in general. We shall demand independence that we might participate in our rituals such as, trading coffee, tobacco and a few shots with our brethren on opposing sides.

We shall oppose the heretical actions of the mainstreamers to form their own "Campaign Battalions" for this shall surely confuse and diminish the work that we have done. We demand an end to civilian camping, mainstream camping and - need it be said - parking lot modern camping. We reserve the right to sleep in the pits and on the picket line and shall be no respector of the chain of command - from the Church of the Mainstream Sinners. For they cannot be cleansed; cannot accommodate and cannot consecrate what we do here.

Brothers, let us therefore go forward; let us take up the colors; let us take up those that seek our truth, for ours is the path to glory, to growth, and to promotion in this hobby.

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Last updated 26 August 2000 at 2130 hrs.

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